I've been really curious about The Death of Robin Hood for a while now. For one thing, I've always been a big fan of Hugh Jackman, and Robin Hood is a rather interesting character who's been portrayed in many different film adaptations. When I read that Michael Sarnoski was to direct and write the screenplay, and that it would also offer a truly dark and brutal vision, I was almost sold. Then the trailer was released and my hopes dimmed a little., and things didn't improve when both critics and the public began to voice their opinions. But now I've given it a chance.
The plot: "Robin Hood is grappling with his past after a brutal life filled with crime, violence and murder. He is now weighed down by his sins and seriously injured, following a battle he thought would be his last. In the hands of a mysterious woman, he is offered a chance at salvation."
Let's start at the right end: Michael Sarnoski. This man brought us the Nic Cage-led thriller, Pig, which, as I recall, was interesting even though I don't actually have any clear memory of the plot. He also directed the prequel A Quiet Place: Day One, which ultimately proved entertaining, nerve-wracking, and quite good, though far from flawless. He's also been lined up for a Death Stranding film adaptation, so needless to say, Sarnoski is an interesting director, and for that reason I'd built up a bit of hope ahead of The Death of Robin Hood.
And the cast, mainly Hugh Jackman. I've adored him ever since X-Men, and he's never really let me down. The Prestige, Prisoners, Logan, The Greatest Showman (I don't even like musicals!), I want to stand by my word that Jackman is always worth watching, but The Death of Robin Hood is almost an exception. Not necessarily because of Jackman himself, but because of the script. Sure, he looks grim and tormented right through Logan as well, but it's still one of my all-time favourites alongside The Prestige. But here, the problem lies elsewhere, specifically the script as a whole, and the pace too. Watching Jackman looking sullen in a two-hour film that fails to engage is, to put it simply, agonising.
Bill Skarsgård plays, once again, a tormented version of the character Little John, and I just don't get the whole thing. Skarsgård is always brilliant, but here he's added a strange dialect that almost makes the iconic character resemble his father's performance in The Simple-Minded Murderer. But perhaps that's the point?
Lastly, we should mention Jodie Comer. She had her real breakthrough in the series Killing Eve, which was genuinely entertaining, at least in the first series, but then something happened, and it was mainly because Comer's character, Villanelle, became too much. Comer is an actress I've never quite understood, but perhaps that's because she's mostly been cast in dull roles? The deranged mum in 28 Years Later, this being one of the most uninteresting plot devices in film history, and now Sister Brigid, the nun who saves Robin Hood from certain death. Granted, her character is fleshed out a bit towards the end, but she's still an extremely bland and uninteresting character, and Comer's expressionless performance doesn't help matters.
Hold on... Is that Robin Hood and What's-his-name from Mortal Kombat?
Blimey, I'm being negative. But it goes on. Death of Robin Hood is, unfortunately, one long snooze fest from start-to-finish. The plot is unclear and does absolutely nothing to engage the viewer, the characters are thoroughly unsympathetic, and you never really understand why. Everything feels disjointed and isn't presented in a way that makes us even want to try to understand. But there's grunting, and there's grumbling, and the soundtrack plays a few folk songs, and it's dark, and boy, the Middle Ages were gloomy.
Now I'm going to sound like the psychopath I surely am, but the only thing that piques my interest even slightly is the violence. When it erupts, which it does in a few scenes here and there, it's really graphic and raw. It's shocking, but it also leaves a bit of a bad taste in the mouth precisely because the reasons and the characters' motivations aren't made clear. It also means the violence is almost entirely devoid of tension. Little John rips the jaw off a bloke who killed his wife; Robin Hood, for some reason, shoots an arrow straight through the skull of... No, I'm not going to give anything away. But there's so much gory stuff here that could have been effective and gripping if you understood it or at least cared a little.
Two hours, folks. Two hours of "what on earth have I just watched?" and "what was the point of this?". It's actually been a long time since I've seen a film that, on paper, contains so many promising ingredients and involves so many talented people, yet ultimately ends in nothing but a single, drawn-out sigh. The Death of Robin Hood might well be one of the most utterly pointless films I've seen this year, and that's saying something, given that I've actually seen and reviewed Water Park Shark. Give this tedious snooze fest a miss and watch Men in Tights instead, or something.