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Haunted Mansion

Haunted Mansion

André has taken a gander at Disney's latest attempt to bring new cinematic life to the Haunted Mansion ride...

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A priest, a physicist, a psychic, a professor, and a mother and her son are trapped in a haunted New Orleans mansion, where together they must unravel the mystery of the place before a terrifying ghost captures one of their souls. That's the plot of Disney's new ghost story based on the amusement ride of the same name, which will be the Big Mouse's latest attempt to adapt the horror since the Muppet version and the 2003 Eddie Murphy film. For people who are familiar with the theme park, this might work as cozy fanservice, but for people who have no connection to these revenants, this will mostly be an unbearably boring family movie.

The biggest question one asks after watching Haunted Mansion is: why was this even a theatrical release? Haunted Mansion is made for the streaming swamp and works much better as background noise in the living room, because it will bore families in the big halls. Because it's never very funny, and it's never very creepy. It's a parade of CGI-packed scenes that lack focus and personality, which is to be expected from a movie that mostly serves as a commercial for the ride. However, I had hoped that director Justin Simien would have been able to breathe more life into Owen Wilson, Rosario Dawson, Danny DeVito and Jared Leto than the guests themselves.

Haunted Mansion

The best character in the movie is, amazingly, a ghost that we barely see a glimpse of. The main character is haunted by an old sea dog who is more than happy to watch Deadliest Catch and is the only one in the movie who has a personality that doesn't feel tacked on, unlike the majority of the film's cast. Many of the emotional threads feel artificial and flat, with the script feeling unnecessarily sprawling and clumsily structured. The movie is only two hours and 15 minutes long, but feels a lot longer when the boredom kicks in after about 40 minutes. The kids will be yawning until the end credits, as will the adults.

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Haunted Mansion is a movie that makes more sense as a Disney Plus entertainment than a cinema experience, because you don't get much value for your money. The story is so tame and bland that even the film's otherwise charming stars can't do anything worthwhile with the material. There is simply no soul in these haunted spirits and as a cinematic ride you just want to get out of this numbing horror comedy as soon as possible.

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03 Gamereactor UK
3 / 10
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Haunted Mansion

Haunted Mansion

MOVIE REVIEW. Written by André Lamartine

André has taken a gander at Disney's latest attempt to bring new cinematic life to the Haunted Mansion ride...



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