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Under Paris

Under Paris

Netflix's summer blockbuster features sharks as sharks, modelled and rendered in Microsoft Word. Petter is not impressed.

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That's the thanks I get! For being a stubborn, passionate, determined and rabid environmentalist trying to save the hard-pressed Mako shark from extinction by cleaning up the plastic in the oceans. No good deed goes unpunished, as the saying goes, especially when we are talking about hungry, carnivorous killer sharks that swim 3,000 kilometres and only on pure malice "learn" to breathe fresh water in order to take revenge.

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Under Paris is Netflix's big new summer film directed by the man behind Frontiers and The Divide, where a seasoned marine biologist and a bunch of blue-haired hipster activists get wind that a shark nearly eight metres long has found its way into the Seine River in central Paris, and spend 49 minutes trying to get the mayor and the police to believe what they say. "Yes! We are telling the truth. These dreadlocks-drenched, frequently pierced protesters (all with super-short bangs and old clothes) know there is a huge killer death shark in Paris and it will eat you all!!!" Just like in Spielberg's old super-classics, sceptics and bureaucrats meet altruists and activists in a blissful concoction of old, tired shark movie tropes piled on top of each other in an Eiffel Tower-sized pile of goo.

Under Paris
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Netflix is, in my opinion, the reigning and most affordable quality streaming service of them all with by far the best selection in terms of both breadth but also smaller projects, gems and local productions. However, there is no getting away from the fact that in recent years they have suffered a lot of bad luck because every script they spit out is now dragged down by stupid logic, bad dialogue, paper-thin characters and one cliché more tired than the other. In Under Paris, director Xavier has just mixed what he likes in Jaws and what he likes in Deep Blue Sea, changed the setting to something urban (Paris, which you've obviously already picked up on) and spiced it up with effects that look like they were done entirely in Microsoft Word.

Under Paris

This is rubbish. Pure rubbish. The people we're supposed to root for are so stupid that it feels parodic, the logic so deplorable that there's not much you can do but laugh at the misery, and the underwater scenes in Paris make Sharknado look like an ILM production. The sharks swish by without weight, size or presence and often the water rendered around their bodies is so poorly executed that the 20+ year old computer effects in Deep Blue Sea feel fresher. This is not the case, however, with the intro to Under Paris, in which a bunch of divers get lost during a marine biology sampling in the open sea. Here, bizarrely, the effects are really good, as are the photography and atmosphere, which leads me to believe that this part was made by a different team in a different period with a completely different budget than the rest of this film.

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03 Gamereactor UK
3 / 10
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Under Paris

Under Paris

MOVIE REVIEW. Written by Petter Hegevall

Netflix's summer blockbuster features sharks as sharks, modelled and rendered in Microsoft Word. Petter is not impressed.



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