Aristide Barraud, former rugby professional player from Mogliano SSD, was one of the 413 people injured during the November 13, 2015 terrorist attacks in France. He was shot in the lungs and leg while shielding to protect his sister, who was also wounded, at the Le Petit Cambodge restaurant, where 13 people died. They both survived, but it caused him big damages that prevented him to return to his professional sports career.
Ten years later, however, Barraud says he feels healed, mentally and physically: "What comes to mind is that I am very proud and happy to live a normal life today, to have managed to put that event behind me, to have managed to rebuild a life, to have an environment that never talks to me about it", Barraud, 36 years old, told Marca on the tenth anniversary of the attacks.
"Those events took up too much space and today that is no longer the case, so my greatest joy and my greatest pride is having managed to rebuild a life apart from it".
Barraud says he never thinks about the attacks, and didn't follow the trial, because he didn't feel "neither the need for reparation nor for truth, since I had sought my reparation and my truth elsewhere than in the trial", but still testified as a witness because he has a strong believe in his country's justice.
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"Today I watch rugby without any sadness or regrets because I tried"
Now, he reinvented his career as an artist, writer and photographer: he published a book in 2017 called "Mais ne sombre pas" about the attacks, but his life is now "far away from the attacks". He and his sister (acrobat) will go on a big stage next March for the first time, for a show unrelated with the attacks.
He tried to return to rugby in 2017, but "his body was broken". He still feels pain, "my body is very badly damaged: "I'd say I've learned to live with the physical pain, which is a different kind of pain than a rugby player's, but I need routines, so I have routines for sports, yoga, swimming, stretching... My body often struggles, but that's the downside of being alive. So I prefer that to not being alive. I accept it."
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And while he never recovered his career, he is still involved with rugby: is working with L'Équipe or Le Monde for rugby photographs and follows and admire today's France team. And above all, he feels proud for trying: "Today I can watch rugby without any sadness, without regrets, because the fact that I tried to return to the field despite the severity of my injuries has allowed me to live without wondering if I could have done it. I don't dwell on the 'what ifs' and I'm very at peace, because I went all the way.
The injuries I suffered have nothing to do with me; they were due to an accident, and I did everything I could to stay alive and return to the field: I achieved the first, not the second, but I did everything I could, and having done so allows me to live today with complete serenity."
Further reading: How events unfolded at Stade de France in November 13, 2015: praise for camaraderie between French and German players
Another rugby player aided him: "it seems impossible"
In fact, one could say rugby saved his life, as it was a fellow rugby player and teammate, Serge Simon, the first one who aided him after being shot. "If a screenwriter put that in a movie, nobody would believe it, because it seems impossible. It actually happened in a city of millions of people, and the person closest to me was a former rugby player I knew, who had played for the same club I did. We're still very good friends today. I love him dearly; he's important to me, and I know I'm important to him."
Barraud admits it left him psychological sequels beyond the physical pain: "I have more anxiety, more fear, I simply get tired psychologically and physically much faster, but I've adapted my life to that, so there's no problem", and is happy and excited about all his new projects... and the new, happy and fulfilled life he has built.