Game Names: Unnecessarily Long With Needless Colons

There is power in a name. Especially a game name. In this current oversaturated gaming industry, where it's harder than ever to make people buy and play a game, even if you're a AAA titan, a name can be a big part of attracting an audience. Atomfall, Split Fiction, Astro Bot. These are all recent titles which not only tell you what you're getting on the tin, but do so in a precise, simple way. These are game names that don't make you feel like you have to say bless you when someone mentions them.

On the other hand, we have something like Intergalactic: The Heretic Prophet. Intergalactic: The Heretic Prophet. A whopping 11 syllables that almost had me spitting out my Monster at 4AM watching The Game Awards last year. From Naughty Dog, no less. Come on lads, what are we doing here?

This isn't just Naughty Dog coming up with a needless mouthful of a title, though, and regardless of game quality, I can think of more than a few examples which really draw out a title, adding a useless colon just to break up a group of words that strung together have no meaning. Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, Lost Records: Bloom & Rage, Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden, Tales of Kenzera: Zau, Lynked: Banner of the Spark, and more all hit like a slap in the face when you hear them announced or read them on a store page, and I think it's time we all took a look at the word count of some of these titles and decided if we could kill some darlings.

I'm not opposed to the inclusion of a colon in a title. For an established IP like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or Warhammer, of course you'll need to put the big name out there first before you tell people what they're getting into. Sequels, too, can get a pass at times, but even here we see a couple of recent offenders. Kingdom Come: Deliverance II for example, and Death Stranding 2: On the Beach. Kojima always gets a pass because he's Kojima, but we don't really need both the "2" and the "On the Beach," as we're told that it's a different game from the original twice at that point. With Kingdom Come, the first game was called Kingdom Come: Deliverance, setting up the sequel to be called Kingdom Come: Something Else. Instead, we just get Deliverance again with another number slapped on, completely invalidating the need for the colon before Deliverance in the first game.

This is really nitpicky stuff, and as I said it really doesn't affect game quality, but it's interesting (at least for me) to take a look at how overly long names and needless colons are becoming more of a trend. Of course, there are a few reasons for this. It's hard to find a unique name in today's gaming world, for example, which I do empathise with, but you can still keep a name brief with a colon, or give the prospective audience less words to remember overall. Black Myth: Wukong is a great example of this, which still has a colon, but feels like it has earned it and is only three words for you to remember, with the most important one being after the colon.

Why did Naughty Dog go with the horrendous name offender of Intergalactic: The Heretic Prophet? Well, it seems largely down to the future of this IP. Geoff Keighley introduced this game as the first in a franchise from Naughty Dog, which means that we'll likely have Intergalactic: The Something Something down the line, as well as a few other titles as well. However, this is like if you called the first Uncharted game Uncharted: The First One or if you added on the Part One bit of The Last of Us at release in 2013. It makes no sense, and doesn't let the intrigue of the initial title sit with you. Uncharted and The Last of Us are all-timers for game names, and yet this feels like a real stumble, for a world and game that seems so interesting otherwise.

Again, this isn't only Intergalactic's problem. Who is Clair? Why is she obscure? What the hell is a Banner of the Spark? Why do you need to tell us this is Zau's tale when there aren't any other Tales of Kenzera? Am I playing as Bloom or Rage? I'm being a little goofy here, sure, but whoever is out in the ether creating some of these titles really needs to sit back and think whether it's worth informing people that this is part of a franchise that isn't a franchise yet, or if they should just give them a cool title first, so they've got a slightly better chance at selling enough to live out those franchise dreams.

I haven't touched on the overly long names you sometimes get with anime titles, JRPGs, and others, as that just feels a key part of the genre at this point. I should also point out that certain titles can give me the ick without even a colon and while just being one word. Returnal remained my worst title in recent memory despite being an absolutely fantastic game until Intergalactic came along. But hey, so long as the games are good, the title doesn't really matter. Perhaps instead of seeing less length and colons, we could see more, and before long I'll have an aneurysm as TGA 2027 reveals Metal Man: The Man Who Was Made of Metal: And Also Some Skin and Bones and Flesh.

What's your least-favourite game title?