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Mock Exam: The 14th Century Super Hero

Mock Exam: The 14th Century Super Hero

Written by Ursa Minora on the 20th of December 2011 at 14:23

Superheroes have always fascinated me. Spider Man, The Wolverine and Captain America (or Captain Capitalism as I've grown to know him), fight threats towards humanity and, perhaps more importantly, protects the less fortunate. However, as the heroes go to fight criminality, they become criminals themselves, vigilantes that illegally bring justice down on the morally disgusting. In real life geeks that have read one comic book too much have tried to dress up as superheroes to fight crime. However, as the real life heroes don't have any superpowers, their tales often ends tragically, sometimes in death or incarceration, even before they've even begun. Even though it obviously is impossible for someone to become a superhero, arguably being a super hero might prove to be possible after all, just with the power of your ethics and awesomeness. Robin Hood is the prime example of a real life vigilante that did a remarkably fine job of it too.

After King Richard Lionheart was killed by the French in the early 1400's, the British Kingdom was in somewhat of a turmoil. Richards brother, John, were, in complete contrast to his brother, hated by the people as he didn't value the common man as much as his brother had done. For Robin Hood, however, who in some versions of the legend had fought in the "holy" war and against the French, this meant having to pay a lot of taxes, as the Sheriff of Nottingham taxed the people heavily without giving them anything in return. Robin got sick of this, and refused to pay his taxes, gathering a posse of men he deemed trustworthy, and went to live in the Sherwood Forest as outlaws.

They stole from the Sheriff whenever they could, but didn't hang on to the money themselves, instead passing it on to the people of Nottingham, giving back to them what was rightfully theirs. I think Robin Hood was, without realizing it himself, of course, one of the first dedicated socialists, as he thought every man and woman to be worth as much and that everyone should have equal rights, no matter of their race, gender or social status.

In the tales of Robin Hood the posse of Sherwood Forest is described as varied with various talents, drawing a parallel to modern day superhero teams, such as the X-men, Justice League or The Avengers. Robin himself has a knack for archery, not unlike the leader of The Avengers, Hawkeye. Robin Hood may also be compared to Batman, as they both have a wonderful sidekick: Robin Hood have Little John, while Batman has a different Robin (!).

There's also the case of the damsel in distress. While not the best example the non-sexist Robin Hood, every hero must save his favorite lady from time to time. In Robin's case this would be Lady Marian, who in recent adaptions (1800's and onward) has grown more of a backbone herself. Let's use Batman as a reference once more, and we'll see at least three romances with strong women. First there is Barbara Gordon, daughter of the commissioner, who after the third Robin-sidekick died, joined Batman as Batgirl. She was shot in the spine, rendering her paralyzed from the waist down, so she now only helps the Batman with information on his cases. Batman's also having an affair with the beautiful Talia Al Ghul, who is the next in command of a conspiratorial sect. She's also the mother of Batmans only child. His last major flirt is Catwoman, who's both a rival and an ally for the Dark Knight. While Batman is more of a playboy than Robin Hood, they're both with strong independent women, even though they occasionally have to save them from the clutches of The Joker and Sir Locksley respectively.

Despite originally being a 14th century commoner, Robin sure have made an impression on comic book writers of today, as both Marvel and DC comics have been strongly influenced by the green avenger. Comic book creator and geek icon, Stan Lee, admitted in an interview with Marvel Pulse in October this year that he had used Robin Hood as an inspiration for several of his characters. Yet another feather in the cap for Mr. Hood.

As much as I want to be a superhero, I can never truly be one. Not because I don't have any superpowers, that's a trivial problem. The main issue is that if I ever were to become a superhero I would do so just for the sake of being it, not because I want to be charitable and righteous. I'll gladly pay benevolent organizations a great amount of money, but risking my thigh and neck for the sake of justice? I don't think so. And that's why no one can be a superhero, at least not these days; someone who cares enough about prevailing justice to risk their lives and reputation won't care about dressing in costumes to look awesome. If they do, they're considered eccentric or loony by media, and might be committed to an asylum of sorts. For that reason I dare say that there never will be a superhero like Robin Hood ever again; a real one that is.

"Rise and rise again. Until lambs become lions"
-Robin Hood

Believe it or not! (Mock Exam 2010)

Written by Ursa Minora on the 12th of December 2010 at 00:25

Mankind will always be a distrustful race. We don't trust each other which have resulted in all our laws and economics. Another thing these doubts have resulted in is wild conspiracy theories, and some may actually be true.

Human beings such as ourselves are capable of both great love and great hatred. Therefore, some believe, aliens have begun infiltrating the Earth. After America dropped the first atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, UFO-sightings started escalating could it be that the Aliens are trying to defend us from ourselves? A lot of people say that they have been abducted by little, grey men. These people tell us about being examined by alien species and waking up many days later. Sometimes the families even think that their loved ones may have taken their own lives. Each summer, crop circles appear in southern England. These grand drawings in the fields have been impossible for man to make. The crop doesn't break, but is only bended, which is something that can't happen with crop such as wheat. It is also quite extraordinary that the crop shows signs of microwave activity, which helps stimulates the mind of the circles visitors.

Illuminati is a supposed world wide organization, who are believed to control major events. They are said to be the secret organization behind the death of John Lennon, John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King Junior. By some people they are viewed as traitors to the Earth, as they supposedly are going to leave the earth in a spaceship right before Armageddon. The Illuminati controls all government and major industries in the world. The have planted a "V-chip" in your television, so they can watch you while you are watching your favourite series. In addition t all this, some believe that the Illuminati consists of an reptilian, highly intelligent breed, who have disguised themselves as humans. They believe that you van see this by looking at leaders such as Queen Elisabeth and George Bush. They have reptilian faces, and a peculiar way of walking. Is his just bullshit, or is there something to this theory?

Heavens Gate is the name of a religious sect who committed ritual mass suicide in the 90's. They believed that if they killed themselves, their souls would get aboard an alien spaceship that would take them away from the rotten Earth, and save them from doom. This sect turned out to be a tragedy. Not only did very many people die, but they died in vain, as the world truly hasn't self-destructed yet. But it will I the future, all though it will most likely be because of an asteroid rather than an angry alien god.

How many members of the Beatles are still living? Most will say two; Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr. However, others will insist that Ringo Starr is the only one of the Fab Four that still is alive and well. In 1969 The Beatles themself planted a rumour about Paul McCartney being dead and replaced as early as in 1966. Evidence can be found both in their lyrics and on the albums covers. In the song "I am The Walrus", Paul, as The Walrus sing "I am so tired. Bury me. Bury my body." In "Strawberry Fields Forever" John Lennon sings something distorted, which may sound like "I buried Paul". However, Mr. Lennon himself has said that what he sung, was "Cranberry Sauce." Paul was supposedly replaced by a look-alike named" Billy Shears." The album "Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band" is often considered the album with most clues. On the cover one can see a grave, with The Beatles members grieving in front of it. On the grave there is flowers which resemble a bass guitar with three strings. Also Paul McCartney has a hand over his head. This is an Indian symbol of someone being dead. On the cover of "Abbey Road" all The Beatles members appear going over the road. John symbolize god, George the vicar, Ringo the grave digger, and Paul a dead man. Also a car in the background bears a licence plate saying "28IF", meaning that McCartney would have been 28 years old if he still had been alive. The clues are numerous, but it isn't likely to be true, considering all his public appearances since 1966. It is most presumably just a joke made up by The Beatles themselves.

During The Cold War, America desperately tried to come up with new tactics and strategies. A sniper veteran from Vietnam wanted to develop weapons who didn't kill, but merely immobilize the enemy. A general misunderstood this idea, and started thinking about psychic elite soldiers. He thought that since both his body and the wall were made of atoms, they were both 99 percent air. Thus he thought that if he really concentrated, he could walk through the wall. He had to hold his first lecture with a band-aid his forehead. After a while his idea broke through and he had a whole squad of special ops soldiers who would be trying to fly, go through walls, make themselves invisible and even killing by sight. The actually managed to kill a hamster only by looking at it. The poor animal was stressed and paranoid, and after three days of intense glaring, its little heart stopped beating. Later they stared a goat to death, which took less time, but they also somehow managed to think a goat to death. The psychic soldiers were signed of after a while, but in 2001 they were reactivated once again. This during the presidenthood of the son of the previous president that had believed in this operation: George W. Bush. This conspiracy has been confirmed by several of the soldiers of the mage squad, or "Jedi Warriors" as they was named. A single journalist uncovered the truth about this department, which had such a small budget, that the even the "Jedis" had to bring their own coffee to work. It was important that nobody knew about them.

Numbers are quite fascinating. At least, some people think so, and the number 23 is considered evil. An example is Caesar who was stabbed 23 times to his death. Or the airplane that crashed with Manchester United players in it, where 23 players died. And if you take a look at your keyboard, W, the letter of Satan, Is right under the numbers two and three. Try dividing two with three, and you'll get 0,666, 666 being the number of the devil. There are 23 letters in the latin alphabet, and a pack of toilet paper costs 23 kroners on Coop Obs. Coincidence? Maybe, but I still think the government should ban Manchester United from television, and toilet paper from toilets. Just to be on the safe side.

Another popular spare time activity is to predict the end of the world. In 2000 the computers were said to take over the world, as nobody believed they could change the year from 1999 to 2000. No bombs exploded, the banks didn't steal everyone's money, but the Americans panicked anyway. What I can remember from the millennium is the fireworks and tasting non-alcohol champagne. It wasn't as good as Pepsi, though. These days we are soon to face a similar kind of hysteria once again. The Mayan calendar stops 21th of December 2012. The Mayans have predicted eclipses with only a couple of minutes in failure, but not further than 2012. Many people think that all volcanoes on the earth will erupt at once; engulfing us in hot lava, but this is highly improbable. A more reasonable explanation would be an asteroid. Then we would be screwed. But of course, the Mayans is most likely just lazy, and discontinued their project of predicting all future eclipses.

Google have started surveillance of the Earth. You can't walk outside without being immortalised on one of their satellite snapshots. And Google Earth lets everyone see you. Google Earth was their first project, which let you see what the world looks like from above. Street view is a new service that lets you see what a neighbourhood looks like at the other side of the world. Creepy, but still a bit intriguing. What will be their next move? Live streaming satellite videos? A database filled with information on private persons? One may speculate, but Google is a big enterprise. Maybe it's owned by Illuminati?

One shouldn't believe everything that is written, especially not on the internet. A lot of these conspiracy theories are just theories. You are probably not being stalked by Google, Illuminati most certainly don't exist, and Paul McCartney is alive and still a great singer. However, I think it's important to keep an open mind. I believe in aliens to a certain degree, and I believe the American journalist that uncovered the truth about the psychic soldiers. But I won't barricade myself indoors in the holidays of 2012.