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ARTICLE

Top 7 Unlikeable Characters

This week's Top 7 is all about the characters that get under your skin.

"You can't get along with everybody," sounds like something my dad would say, if he said that sort of thing. And he'd have been right, if he's said it. Which he didn't.

There are some people out there that are just impossible to get on with. They're everywhere. Inescapable and vast in number.

The world of gaming is no different. The unlikeables are out there, waiting to annoy the hell out you, to rub you up the wrong way, to stick their stupid heads in your line of sight during chaotic gun fights, getting themselves killed and forcing countless restarts and failed objectives in the process.

Here are seven characters that, in recent years, have got right on my nerves.

1. Patroklos - Soul Calibur V

There aren't many characters more deplorable than Patroklos from Soul Calibur V. He starts off the game murdering people, just because he can. He doesn't feel remorse, and he never really apologises for his murderous crimes. He does lighten up a little towards the end of the campaign, but by the time he's made the transformation from ruthless murderer to hero, it's difficult to empathise with the character. He whinges and moans, and has a strange relationship with his sister. All in all, a thoroughly unlikeable chap.

By the time he stops being an insufferable moron, it's too late.
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2. Desmond - Assassin's Creed

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Poor old Desmond. All he ever wanted was to be a barman. It was his hope, his dream; cruelly snatched from him by those pesky Templars. Desmond is inserted into the Animus, a machine that allows genetic memories to be explored. Here we meet Desmond's ancestors, each of them a kick-ass assassin from the past. The awesomeness of running over buildings and plunging blades into the necks of evildoers is a stark contrast to the limp, ineffectual actions of Desmond. For my money, Assassin's Creed games would be much more enjoyable if we didn't have to endure the painful experience of constantly returning to the present and its limp-wristed protagonist.

Desmond and Shaun chat in the basement. Yawn.
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3. Kaiden Alenko - Mass Effect

Kaiden Alenko should've died on Vermire. Instead it was Ashley who bit the bullet. Kaiden, it should've been you! Why oh why? There's nothing inherently wrong with the character, but yet I find my Alenko-hate bubbling under the surface every time he appears on my screen. When he's not complaining, he's disagreeing with Shepherd, or pulling a gun on him/her, or getting himself beaten to a pulp. Thoroughly ineffective and whiney.

He might be standing behind you Shepherd, but has he got your back?
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